Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] When we are making progress towards our goal, this is actually the number one thing we fail to do when we're on that journey. And you'll find out what that is right after this.
[00:00:35] Welcome to shifts and ladders. You already know who it is. It's Ryan. Excited for you to be with us today. We're going to go on a bit of a journey, particularly a journey of growth and continuous improvement, because there's something that I believe as we are going through any process of, or any change or any shift, there are some clear indications as to what we are looking for before we even start. Okay, I, again, I've mentioned this before. I make continuous improvement, and I do a lot of that in my professional career. And one of the challenges that I find all the time is that people fail to define what they want.
[00:01:26] People just know something hurts and they need to fix it, and there's nothing wrong with that. In fact, I would want you to tell me if I was a doctor or if I was an expert in any field, that if something hurt to come to you and to fix it. That's what most people do. That's why doctors get paid what they do, to do an examination to define what actually is wrong. If you point to your arm, they do a series of tests. They bend your elbow, they twist your hand to see if you broke anything.
[00:02:05] They do several things to actually make sure nothing is one broken. But the they start ruling things out. Now, to you, it may feel like regular motions, but for them, is actually them doing a diagnosis of what actually is the matter so that they can define what actually is wrong in order to treat the issue. Right now, if a doctor decides to do a diagnostic on your issues and problems that you need solved, why wouldn't you want to define the thing that you actually want out of your life? Because honestly, the thing you want out of your life usually comes out of one of two things. Either there's a huge desire to do it, there's pain in your life that you need to get out of, and three, there's some people in your life that you want to have a better experience of life, even better experience with you, and you're trying to get better for them. So usually change comes in that kind of area. But the hardest part is to diagnose yourself. Anything that you have to diagnose yourself on, you have to actually be honest with yourself in that. So before I get ahead of myself, because I'm getting really, really excited about it, I'm going to go to good old Webster's Webster's dictionary. Webster. Webster's going to the webster's.
[00:03:39] Because the weird thing about the word define is that we go to a book for definitions, which gives us the meaning and the understanding of particular words. Right? So let me get to the root of what define means or defining, and it has a couple of, I would say, three really good, definite definitions of divine. So I want to go through those first and then kind of break that down into some meanings here. So the first one is to define or identify the essential qualities or meaning of. Okay, so an example of this would be, uh, whatever defines us as a human. So there are, um, things that are intrinsic. So, like, we have two eyes, we have two legs. Um, sorry. Yeah, we have two legs.
[00:04:37] We have two eyes, two legs, two arms. Um, and we are, you know, warm blooded. We communicate with language. Those are characteristics of being human. Right? So you don't have to define the actual thing, but usually the characteristics give a definition of what that item is. Okay. Dogs have four legs, tail.
[00:05:04] A lot of animals do. Maybe that might not be a good example, but you get my drift, right?
[00:05:10] Number two, the other definition is to discover and set forth the meaning of. So that is like a word, right? So if you're looking for the definition of super, it gives you the meaning of what that is. So you can discover what that definition or what that word means to you.
[00:05:36] And unfortunately, in the world that we live in these days, definitions of words can get shifted depending on one, your worldview, to your exposure to certain people, groups, and yet pretty much those two. Okay, and then another one is.
[00:06:00] This one's another piece of it. But to create or establish rules or parameters, this is actually the thing I really like about this one.
[00:06:11] So what defines a window?
[00:06:14] It's usually, windows are usually rectangular or.
[00:06:20] Yeah, rectangular. Either lengthwise or width wise, that have exposure to an outside element. Right? So again, that defines a character defines an item. The borders define an item. They give it shape, it gives it meaning. So what ends up happening with anything you define, it actually creates the framework of what you have to work with. Okay?
[00:06:55] And once you get through that process of diagnosing and breaking down and defining what's happening, you will actually determine exactly what you want to out of not just your life, your career, but out of every interaction you come in contact with or every person you come in contact with, rather. Now, what's crazy about it is that most people have a hard time determining what they want, okay? And it is so difficult these days to determine what you want, okay? So much so that many of us have succumbed to the marketing ads of apple products. I'm telling all myself here, cars, clothes, whatever. The thing is, because if you actually don't have a vision or don't have an understanding of what actually defines you as an individual, organizations, culture, whatever, will give you something to anchor yourself onto.
[00:08:13] Who said, if you were making a million dollars that you needed to have a Bentley make it rain? I don't know. I don't know if that's the case or not. There might be some, but who said that?
[00:08:30] Who defined that? Once you get to a particular level of socioeconomic status, that you get to get or have to have this kind of vehicle, this kind of car, this kind of clothes, so on and so forth, no one actually told you that somebody gave you that particular idea of what it looked like to, quote unquote, arrive somewhere.
[00:08:55] But because you couldn't define what you wanted out of your life, you decided to take on what someone else thought was best for you.
[00:09:05] Now, I'm saying this as a person who has been a. I won't even call myself a victim. I, because I don't want to say that I have been a person who has embraced marketing tactics because I thought particular materials, that me having a certain bag, because I love backpacks, I thought a bag, I thought a Bible, I thought a computer, I thought, um, a particular haircut, uh, I thought a particular brand of item actually made me a person of high standard.
[00:09:41] But honestly, that's. Who said that that's the case.
[00:09:45] And in fact, who even cares?
[00:09:50] There are people, and you'll read it. You know, Bible says this like it is. The wealthy do their best to act poor, but those who are poor do their best to act rich. And you can see that in the transformation of individuals. And I'll just use some hip hop, folks.
[00:10:12] We'll use Ludacris and Jay Z, for example. I remember they used to have, and this is dating me, but this is like the nine. Nine, early nineties, early, late nineties, early two thousands, where they had gold chains and pinky rings and huge bracelets with diamond rings, diamonds on them. And the further they started getting more and more money, started getting more and more wealth, and started to get in different circles, the jewelry got smaller.
[00:10:47] I'm like, why?
[00:10:49] Why is the big, the big rockefeller chain that Jay Z used to wear not even there anymore? He don't wear. He doesn't wear any jewelry anymore, actually. And he's a billionaire now.
[00:11:05] Ludacris doesn't even wear jewelry in his movies, let alone in the studio or whatever.
[00:11:13] You rarely these days see folks who have been in areas of success for long periods of time flaunt the jury that they once had when they were in their earlier career. Why, I would gather, again, this is an assumption, but I'm gathering that those items no longer define them. They started to define themselves by something completely different. So when you're making it, you, quote, unquote, had to have the jewelry. But once you've made it, now you have to almost redefine yourself and become somebody different. But at some point, they thought, I don't really like this anymore, because it doesn't necessarily fit who I am anymore. They change their definition of themselves. So when they started to find out who they were and who they are, the definition of what they called success shifted. Okay, I'm even going to get into the Bible, because the Bible actually speaks about this in very direct manner here. So I'm going to go to Mark chapter ten, mark chapter ten, and we'll go to verse 46, and I'll read it for you. But that's the address for it. But here it is says, um, now they came to Jericho. This is Jesus and the disciples.
[00:12:37] As he went out of Jericho with his disciples and the great multitude, blind Bartimaeus, son of Timaeus, sat by the road begging.
[00:12:48] And when he heard that it was Jesus of Nazareth. Nazareth, he began to cry out and say, jesus, son of David, have mercy on me. Then many warned him to be quiet, or other versions say, they rebuked him. But he cried out all the more, son of David, have mercy on me. So Jesus stood and commanded him to be called.
[00:13:12] Then they called the blind man, saying to him, be of good cheer. Rise. He is calling you. And throwing aside his garment, he rose and came to Jesus. So Jesus answered, said to him, what do you want me to do for you? The blind man said to him, rabbi, only that I may receive my sight.
[00:13:36] Then Jesus said to him, go your way. Your faith has made you well.
[00:13:40] And immediately he received his sight and followed Jesus on the road. Okay? Now, there's something that we have to understand about scripture here, and I want to.
[00:13:57] This is all a part of defining things, okay? And Jesus actually does an incredible job all the time with this.
[00:14:06] And I'm do my best to articulate this with clarity here.
[00:14:12] The most powerful, the powerful thing about this scripture isn't just the fact that the man was healed by Jesus.
[00:14:22] Any miracle like that is extremely powerful and actually an incredible testimony to Jesus ability to supernaturally change the lives of it, folks.
[00:14:35] But the jarring thing that Jesus does in this is he asks a mandev, what do you want me to do for you?
[00:14:47] Now, Jesus is both God and man.
[00:14:51] So he's asking a question that he already knows the answer to.
[00:14:57] Okay?
[00:14:59] So whenever you hear or see in scripture, Jesus asking someone a question, he actually already knows the answer to it. He's just wanting to know how honest you're going to be about what you really want.
[00:15:17] I'm going to say that again because that was good to me. Jesus already knows the answer that he's going to ask the man. The thing is, he wants to know, are you going to be honest with him about what you really want?
[00:15:31] That is some of the most powerful things here, because Jesus always brings up questions that really bring up how transparent are you going to be about your desire. Are you going to define it for me? Now, when anyone, if someone asked you, if the genie from Aladdin came and asked you, what do you want, would you have an answer for him or her?
[00:16:07] But would the answer you provided be something of your heart's desire, or would it be something that you think you should want, or you like the idea of having it, but it's something that's not really in your heart to do.
[00:16:25] I think it's so important, particularly when we're going on any kind of journey for self improvement, growth, change, whatever, is to define what you want to see.
[00:16:39] The hard part is most of us are not honest enough with ourselves to say, this is what I really want.
[00:16:52] Now I'm saying this, it might hurt, it might be an ouchy moment, but I'm saying this because I've experienced this myself. If Jesus were to ask me the same question, I don't know if I'd have a good answer for him. I probably have a better answer than I did six months ago.
[00:17:08] But the part of it is having that right answer means that you are congruent, that you are whole within yourself, because you can't have faith if you're double minded. James, chapter one says, there's a double minded man is unstable in all of his ways. So that's not just his one. A way. I mentioned this before, it's in all his ways, meaning his, his money, his relationships, his, his career, all the things. If you're not congruent and honest with you, you will be going in multiple different directions, not having everything that you bring to the table with you. Parts of you over here. Coach Rick talked about this in the previous podcast, which you should actually, check that one out, was actually really powerful, but you end up having pieces of yourself all over the place because you're unwilling to define who you are. So instead of defining who you are, you take other people's definition and, oh, that sounds good. That fits. I don't know if it's really me, but I'm gonna put this on. Put this on, put this on. And become an algorimation of multiple things. But really, it doesn't speak to who you are.
[00:18:37] That, ladies and gentlemen, and I don't know, I'm saying ladies and gentlemen, but. But that everyone is the most critical piece to any kind of change, goal setting, whatever, is. Have you taken the time to define what success looks like?
[00:18:58] And are you honest enough to say, that's what I really want? And do you have the courage.
[00:19:05] Do you have the courage to say that's what you want?
[00:19:10] That's what. That's. If that's what you want, that's what you want. Nobody's going to judge you. But you need to be honest with yourself so that you be able to articulate and say, that is what I want out of my life, God, that is what I want to experience here and now. And then you can start making progress toward that. And I do believe that when there is alignment, not just within yourself, but within your spirit and with those around you, you can walk in what that looks like. It's not going to happen overnight. It may not be a miracle or it may be, but at least you can be honest and say, that is actually what I want to do. That's who I actually want to become. That is actually what I want to have. Because I'm going to tell you this. Most of us are not willing to articulate what we really want because we are worried about what other people think about us.
[00:20:08] Whoa. Everybody hold the brakes. You mean to tell me we get worried about what other people think about us? Absolutely.
[00:20:17] Absolutely.
[00:20:18] Absolutely.
[00:20:22] We dumbed down a lot of things because we don't know what kind of impression we would give someone else if we said we wanted to have this or we wanted to experience that. Nobody is going to judge you or actually take that back. They will judge you, but you won't be happy.
[00:20:45] They'll be. They'll judge you, which they wanted to do, and then you'll be unhappy because you didn't get what you wanted.
[00:20:51] So you'll be living your life to please others. And I not experiencing the desire that you have, that God actually probably placed in you, which. Psalms 34, I think it's 37, verse four says, delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart, which means the desire that you have is something that's been placed in you.
[00:21:12] So if you have a proclivity to speak, teach, film, model, whatever, create fashion, whatever, create music, that is a proclivity that is an extension of God's grace and creativity in your life that you naturally want to express. But because you're worried about what everybody else thinks, or if this thing actually makes money, you will hold yourself back and not experience what it's like to have a full life that God intended you to live.
[00:21:44] I'm on one. I'm on one. I'm talking to myself. I'm not talking to you, but I'm talking to myself. Hopefully you'll glean something from this, but we're going to go on a number of episodes talking about this process of change.
[00:22:01] It's a process of shifts, actually, because I believe with every shift there's a ladder, which is the name of this podcast. But every shift opens opportunities for new elevations. But the first and most basic thing you have to do is define what you really want and what you want to see.
[00:22:21] If you don't do that, you're just throwing something in the dark and seeing what happens, not even turning the light on. You're hoping something. You're wishing something can happen. There's a difference between wishing and hoping.
[00:22:35] Wishing is saying, I hope, you know, I wish I can. We say we hope, but really we're wishing. Hope is anchored in evidence. Talked about that in a previous podcast. Hope has evidence. Wishing has none.
[00:22:52] So give yourself evidence of what you want to see in your life. Define it. Have the courage to define what you want to see. And if no one ever knows exactly what you want, take that moment. Take that moment to be like, I'm a right. Everything down that I really want with. And no one knew I had it. What would that life look like for you? You probably wouldn't be in the job you're in. You'd probably be living a bigger life instead of a compressed one, trying to make people feel comfortable around you.
[00:23:35] There's a lot y'all this defining, and I might just have to talk about this in another pod, but defining is important.
[00:23:44] It's so important, because the more you have clarity on what your future looks like, honestly, the more you'll be able to open yourself up to the possibilities of that being a reality for you. Okay. All right. So if you could do me a favor.
[00:24:04] Do me a favor.
[00:24:06] Share this pod with your friends, with anyone you know is looking to work on a vision, or it doesn't have a vision per se. Help them out. Share this podcast subscribe to our YouTube channel, shifts and ladders. We're also on Apple podcasts. We're on Spotify, too. YouTube has podcasts as well. So just. Just share all of it. Subscribe to all of it, but also be encouraged, because I believe that God really wants us to live a life that is abundant.
[00:24:46] But in order for you to have abundance, you have to define what that looks like for you.
[00:24:53] Okay? So with that said, we'll catch you in the next pod. Take care. Peace.
