Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] You hear all the time, you shouldn't compare yourself to somebody else. That's not a good thing to do. Well, I'm sorry. I'm human. I've done it. You've done it. And it almost derailed me from pursuing and destroying what I know God called me to do. And in this podcast, we're going to talk about just what that is.
[00:00:44] Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to Life Refresh podcast. And I want to just jump right in to this thing, this insidious thing called comparison.
[00:00:57] Comparison. There was a.
[00:01:00] An artist called skilo back in 1995, I believe, and he had a song called I wish.
[00:01:12] There's another song by a person that has song that has named I wish, and he will remain, he will remain nameless. But this particular guy is a west coast rapper, and you might have heard it if you haven't gone Spotify, apple music, whatever that you listen to. But I'm at least rap the chorus. Okay. And his chorus says, I wish I was a little bit taller. I wish I was a baller. I wish I had a girl that looked good, I would call her. I wish I had a rabbit in my hat with a bat and a six four impala. That was the. That was it.
[00:01:54] It's a good song, by the way. But the theme of this, this song was that he did not have all the attributes that would make him pursued by particular female.
[00:02:11] He was a short dude in the music video. I mean, it's. It's old school hip hop, and the guy was short. He's short. He had didn't just look, put together, all that kind of stuff. So what he thought he had to become was he had to become someone else in order to get the girl that he was wanting to pursue. And again, I'm just keeping this super high level. But again, it's what everyone has struggles with. They wish something was different about themselves. They wish that they could do something different. They wish they could be taller. And the thing is about all of us is that we have been particularly designed for a task. If you believe that God is ultimately a God who arranges and orchestrates your life for purpose, there are things that you have to understand in the way you have been designed that are important to you. So I am five eight, and I'm gonna tell you a little bit of my story here. I'm five eight, and when I was in high school, I wanted to go to college, and I wanted to play linebacker. Now, if you don't know, this was in the days of, like, headhunting linebackers. Back in the day, like AJ Hawks and the Ray Lewis's Brian Er Lockers of the NFL. And generally they were in their six, you know, 6ft now. And I saying there weren't any because there were some shorter linebackers that were one of the best, at least I would say top tier kind of football player. But I would do things to kind of compensate for my lack of height. So I would wear like boots that would give me like maybe an extra inch when I want to go on a recruiting visit or I would try and do like stretches to try and help stretch myself out because I thought I was too bulky. And again, this is all stuff that I would just say to myself and then I got teased because I wasn't as tall as some of my friends. I was like tall at one point and, you know, I was one of those friends that was like, stop growing while everyone else grew.
[00:04:46] I was still athletic, still gifted, but still at some point, I don't know what happened. Like, I just. I hit the brakes somewhere and whatever that is or whatever that purpose was, you know, I have no idea what that meant, but it did bother me so much because I had a goal and my goal was I wanted to play division one somewhere and I wanted a scholarship. I want to do all those things and, you know, well, God blessed me to get in a walk on opportunity where I did earn my scholarship, but that wasn't the preferred way. You know, you want to be recruited, you want the calls, you wanted to be there on sign in day. That whole thing, I didn't. I didn't have that. And what it did was it actually was super demotivating at that point in time.
[00:05:42] And I just. I hated being short.
[00:05:46] I hated being short. And five eight isn't relatively small, but it's not really tall either. So I just did not enjoy being the short guy on the team. I just did not like it at all. And I would. I had so much resentment to individuals who were tall but weren't as athletic as me or worked hard as me. And they had the gift, naturally, to be tall to do their thing.
[00:06:17] And I'm here putting in the work. I have the work ethic, the instinct, the ability, but the one thing that I wanted was the height so that I could go to the level that I wanted to go.
[00:06:33] And ladies and gentlemen, it may not be height for you like it was for me. It might be speaking, someone you might hear that speaks well or someone who carries themselves well, like they wish you could wear that color, but you can't wish I could hold that kind of bag, but that bag doesn't fit for me. There's something that we compare ourselves to, and it's a deficit that we have, if you look at it that way, that someone else has been gifted with, and we wonder, why didn't we get that blessing while we're completely missing out on the things that God has already blessed us with? So this is the vision and the thought process that comparison does. It makes you look at a glass half empty or a glass half full. You are either seeing it from the empty side, which is the lack, or you're looking at it from the grateful side, the. The side that's filled, and the opportunities that that extra space can provide you. So you can start looking at opportunities or lack of as opportunities to do something different, to create, to develop, to envision something different. Because out of that kind of space of necessity or lack of having something, creativity can start to be.
[00:08:13] Can start to grow there. If you haven't in old school, if you haven't had one of those opportunities where you took a can, put a string together, and then tied it to another can, or put it through another can and use plain telephone. If you didn't have real cell phones, that was like, the real cell phone when I was playing, where you had cans and, you know, and would. You would create something out of nothing because there was something you didn't have, you made it in order to meet it. I'm gonna say that again. That's good to me. You made it in order to meet it.
[00:08:57] Okay.
[00:08:59] Once you find out what you can make, you can meet it. Meet the need. So what does all this say? What does hip hop, what does being short, and what does deficit all mean together? Okay.
[00:09:16] The Bible has a lot to say about comparison. Okay?
[00:09:23] And I truly believe the Bible has a lot of the answers to the things that we read in self help books today, as well as business books. I mean, everything's in here. And I just want to kind of pull out some of these opportunities and some of these gems that you can start to see, like, oh, wow, this is actually, like, really, really important and special in its. In its own right. So I'm going to start with one that's probably heard very often, but it is Psalms, chapter 139, verse 14.
[00:10:09] Psalms 139, verse 14. And it says this, I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Your works are wonderful, and I know that full well the way you have been designed is the way God intended it to be.
[00:10:32] Okay?
[00:10:34] I had to accept the fact that I'm going to be five eight.
[00:10:40] That's it.
[00:10:42] But I also, what I haven't looked at is the ways that I was fearfully and wonderfully made. Okay? So when you start looking at what your neighbor has, and the, the Ten Commandments say, thou shalt not covet, meaning you are envious of what your neighbor has in his or her possession. Once you stop looking at what they have and you start looking at what you have, you'll start having this level of appreciation for yourself and the things that you have. Because once you start having to go outside of yourself to get value for yourself, you're now in danger zone. You're now in the danger zone because there is nothing outside of you that can fulfill the need you have in you. It will never be enough. You won't. There's not enough cars, there's not enough clothes, there's not even enough money that could meet the need you have internally by looking on something on the outside of you to meet it. It never can. So the first thing I had to do for myself before I literally disrupted my whole life, not just in my football career, but in my ministry as well.
[00:12:05] I didn't preach like everyone else. I thought I could, you know, I can't sing. I would love to sing. I have a heart to sing.
[00:12:14] It just doesn't come out right. You know what I mean? And because it doesn't come out right, I thought like, oh, I can't preach like such and such or I won't be able to, to diagnose and break down and exegete the text like such and such can. So I would get really down on myself because I'm like, I'll never be that.
[00:12:36] But this is the thing. I'm not supposed to be that. I'm supposed to be me, Ryan Robinson, and you're supposed to be you, whatever your name is who's listening.
[00:12:50] You're meant to be you. The way you see things, the way you have been fearfully and wonderfully made is what you are gifted to do.
[00:13:02] There's only going to be one you. I just told my daughter this. There's only going to be one you ever.
[00:13:09] And there won't be another you after.
[00:13:12] So you need to be intentional on how you're going to be the best you now, okay? And what's important with that, ladies and gentlemen, is that once you accept that, you will start to enjoy your differences instead of belittling your differences and embracing who you are without having the outside affirmations you know, once you start having to go outside of you for that feeling, you are always going to be pushed to and fro like the winds and the waves of the sea.
[00:13:53] You're dependent on someone or something's opinion of you to verify the gap you have in yourself.
[00:14:03] That's a dangerous place to be. That's a dangerous place to be. But first of all, the Bible said that I am fearfully and wonderfully made. So I changed my perspective from looking on the outside of me to looking on the inside of me. And in valuing what gifts, talents, and attributes God gave me.
[00:14:27] Okay?
[00:14:31] I'm not designed to play football or play basketball.
[00:14:39] I'm not.
[00:14:41] And you know what? I'm okay with that.
[00:14:45] I'm fine with that.
[00:14:47] Because I recognize that what I have been gifted with is not designed for that.
[00:14:55] Okay? Just let's keep that. Keep that in our. In our heads there. Okay?
[00:15:02] So once I learned that I am fearfully and wonderfully made and recognized that the gift of me is not dependent upon people's perspective of me, but God already labeled, said, that's good. I'm good with him. I'm designed the way I need to be designed. It's my responsibility to discover what those attributes are and cultivate and develop those. The other part that I had to find out and recognize here, and this is something that's key to many people, is I had to recognize that everyone doesn't have the same start that I have gotten or have been blessed with. Okay, what do you mean by that?
[00:15:44] Many. Some of us have gone to have had struggles growing up. Some of us haven't. Some of us had struggles in the middle of our lives. Some of us haven't. There are circumstances that I cannot compare myself to someone else because we didn't have the same start.
[00:16:08] So I can't compare apples and oranges. I can only compare apples to apples. Why? Because they're. Apples to apples is the same kind of fruit. But once I bring an orange in an apple to the comparison opportunity, I can't say because one has citrus, has a citric attribute. I don't know. Apples have, but they don't have citrus. They're not. They're not an orange.
[00:16:38] They're an apple. So as soon as I start comparing the two things, they don't even match even the skin on an apple, doesn't even match the skin on an orange. So because. And they even cultivate differently, they need different climates in order to grow. I can't compare these two things together because they're not the same. Okay. And there is Bible for me to verify that to you. And it is found in two Corinthians, chapter ten. And we will go to verse twelve. So, second Corinthians, chapter ten, verse twelve. And it says this, we do not dare to classify or compare ourselves with someone who commend themselves. They that measure themselves by themselves and compare themselves with themselves, they are not wise. We, however, will not boast beyond proper limits, but will confine our boasting to the sphere of service God has assigned us to a sphere that also includes you. Now, why is he saying this? It's important because in the church of Corinth, they were comparing who has these great gifts and who has. Who's leveled up in these particular areas. You guys, they had issues. They were the one of the most talented, spiritually gifted churches. And believe it or not, there's comparison that happens at church.
[00:18:08] We're human. It's made up of humans. And if you compare yourselves with someone else, it's not smart. It says it is not wise.
[00:18:24] Doesn't say you don't do it. But to spend time and your energy comparing your gift set with someone that is not you, that is not wise.
[00:18:41] That's not wise, y'all.
[00:18:43] And because of that, because of my lack of willingness to not look internally, I spent more time trying to impress people because I felt that I did not have the skill, the gift set, the talent, whatever.
[00:19:08] I didn't value it, because I'm looking for something outside of me to verify something I couldn't see in me.
[00:19:17] So that's what comparison can do to you.
[00:19:23] It can actually make you self destruct in ways that you cannot imagine. So much so that even if someone gives you a compliment, you won't even receive it, because you're like, oh, they're just being nice. You'll write it off as if it's something that they didn't mean.
[00:19:47] This is one thing I've learned. People don't waste words on you unless they mean them.
[00:19:53] You know, not too many people just say what they, you know, say stuff just because people don't waste words, especially if they don't mean them. Like, if they mean them, they're gonna tell you, but if they don't mean it, they'll either not talk to you, they'll avoid you, or they'll say something that has nothing to do with it. Like, oh, yeah, that was a nice. You look outside, it's nice outside. Like, they'll avoid having to address whatever tough thing they need to bring up. To you, right? So at this point, comparison almost literally kept me from being and actually living the refreshed life. I'm trying to help everybody else live again.
[00:20:35] Make sure.
[00:20:37] And this is how you do. You have to remember you are fearfully and wonderfully made by God, period. Stop looking on the outside of you, but look on the inside of you and look at what God has gifted you with, the natural talents, the spiritual giftings, all those things, and start having the. And start feeling good about that. That's not being, you're not bragging, you're being grateful because you've been designed a certain way, right?
[00:21:10] And then the other thing is, remember that you judging yourself with someone else and comparing yourselves with other people is not a wise thing to do. The Bible says it.
[00:21:24] Why? Because it does not give us the fruit that we need. Because we did not all have the same start.
[00:21:33] Therefore, we all have different assignments and different purposes in this earth.
[00:21:38] So let's focus on being the best version of ourselves.
[00:21:46] Let's continue to compare ourselves with ourselves as we are going and growing, versus comparing somebody, comparing ourselves to someone that has no idea that we envy a particularly particular gift that they have. And you know what? They might be envious of a gift that you have, but it did. It definitely pulls up and pulls out the wrong version of you. So that is how comparison almost made me destroy my purpose.
[00:22:27] It's a wild thing. I've been, you know, healed from that. But, man, once you get free from that, that comparison, man, there's nothing that anyone can say. Anyone can say something crazy to you and you're like, oh, you know what?
[00:22:44] Sorry you feel that way.
[00:22:46] So anyway, if you found value in this, share this podcast with somebody, share the video with someone, I really want to encourage you. You are fearfully and wonderfully made. The way you have been designed is the way that God designed you. And he designed you for a purpose.
[00:23:08] You know, if you're tall, he made you tall for a reason. If you made you short, he made you short for a reason. And the thing is, you have to embrace, if you have a big nose like me, if you have a big lip like I do, God made me that way. And you gotta embrace it. Cause there's purpose to it. There's a reason why he made you the way he made you. And if you have questions, ask him. See if he can bless you through a friend that sees you the way God sees you, but also seek what God says about you in his word, just like we did today. All right? Like I said, if you love the podcast, check on YouTube, share a like on there. Share it. But anyway, also let me run this back.
[00:24:00] If this blessed you share the podcast, give me a like on YouTube, subscribe and we will check you in the next podcast. Be blessed. You're fearfully and wonderfully made. Talk soon.
