Episode Transcript
Speaker 1 00:00:04 Welcome to the Life Refresh podcast. My name is Ryan Robinson, and if you are looking for a podcast that is designed to uplift, encourage and revive your heart, mind, and spirit. You're in the right place. Welcome to the journey of Becoming the version of You God designed from the foundations of the earth. Now, let's begin. Hello, ladies and gentlemen. Welcome to the Life Refresh podcast. It is Ryan Robinson here yet again, uh, thank you for tuning in to this episode today. And, um, I'm excited to, uh, go through actually a different, um, oh, maybe a little bit of a continuation of the last podcast. We talked about fear and purpose in last podcast, and I'm, um, you know, I'm, I want to maybe, if anything, put a, uh, a cap on it really and name this podcast, the Road to Change. And I think, uh, fear and purpose are prerequisites to change.
Speaker 1 00:01:10 And by the way, before I get going, if you haven't share this podcast, subscribe to this podcast. We've been getting some amazing listeners from all over the world, which is incredible. Um, and I'm glad that you're finding value in it. Please, please, if you know someone that may get some benefit from the podcast, we have almost 40 some odd, uh, podcasts now in the tank. So if, if you know someone that might need their life refreshed and there's a particular episode that you have, uh, that was meaningful to you, um, please share that with someone. Okay, um, lemme get back to my point. Most people before they have to make a change, they usually wrestle with fear and purpose. Again, like I said in the last podcast, fear and purpose are not all. Fear isn't all bad. Fear actually can actually help you help save your life.
Speaker 1 00:02:06 Um, if we were completely fearless, we would just jump from stuff. But God has given us a instinct that keeps us from doing any kind of damage to ourselves. For the most part, I want to, but the thing is, most of the part that we don't understand is that when we are asked to or called to change, or life circumstances make us change, we either decide to make the change or we don't understand how the change is gonna impact us. So we actually, um, hold off on a lot of the opportunities because one, we're afraid of what that looks like for us. What's the with them, which means what's in it for me? Most people don't know what that looks like for them. And there's some individuals who love change, and honestly, most people are in different stages of change when it comes to, um, what's happening in their life.
Speaker 1 00:03:09 Most of the time. In many cases, there're like four stages generally when it comes to change. And, um, those four changes. So change is actually expressed really in like four stages. And, um, if you ever get a chance to look at this, this is, um, it's in mind. It is a thing called the change curve. And everyone typically resides in some of these. There are some methodologies called Prosci, which is a change management tool, um, that is very useful. You can get certified in change management. But, um, there are pieces, and again, I'm just giving you a very high level piece of this, but there is what we call a change curve. And most people when it comes to organizational change, um, are able and equipped to actually walk an organization through particular changes, whether it be putting in a new, uh, system in the community or in the organization, whether it is doing new training or retooling or rebranding, whatever the case is, there is what we call a change curve that has to take place.
Speaker 1 00:04:20 And, uh, the change curve typically resides in about four particular stages. Okay? And the first stage is like shock and denial. This is when like a change is first introduced and the initial response may be shock or denial, and they have to react to the challenge, to the status quo. Now, this is the thing many of us are, actually, all of us are really good at taking in the status quo by nature, human beings like to be comfortable. So because we like comfort, whether any change is coming, whether it be good or bad, the change is in many cases a shock to the system. A denial in many cases, because something may be going away, something may be added. Something that you may have been putting your hat on for several years or several decades is now being upgraded or being removed. So you have to understand kind of where you are.
Speaker 1 00:05:22 And if you go online, and we'll link it in the show notes, but the change curve actually goes down first. <laugh>, that's the initial response. And then we get into stage two, which is anger and fear. And this is kind of what we talked about is like, once the reality of the hit of change comes, people tend to react negatively and move in this area. They may fear the impact, feel angry, feel not heard, actively resist protest against the change. They may have challenges, they don't understand the consequences. Others may, um, correctly identify with threats to their position. So they get super, super defensive. And, uh, as a result, many organizations, um, have this sense of disruption and it can, if not properly, plan for and control lead individuals to chaos. So with what we were talking about in our last podcast, the fear and purpose are very, are very much needed.
Speaker 1 00:06:23 Because the thing is, if you don't have purpose and go, if you don't have purpose prior to experiencing the fear of going after what you feel you've been called to do or what you've been equipped to do, you will lose the North star for what you're doing. And you will give into the fear. And the fear. And the acronym that most of us all know is fear, false evidence appearing real. So you will really put yourself in a position where you are fearing a circumstance that may not necessarily be real, it's just that you don't have enough information about the matter. Okay? So this is one of the things that I feel is a big thing. And, and people typically stay in this area, um, because most people don't have enough information, and it is a very stressful, very unpleasant stage to be in. Many, many are, um, disoriented, they are lethargic, they're confused, and immediately the fight or flight responses typically come into the change.
Speaker 1 00:07:39 And, um, there's many ways that I can express this. And there's some real world examples, and I'm gonna probably share a couple of these. I'll just get to one. I am a big music individual. I love music. I actually have a minor in musicology. And, um, one of the things which is a random thing, but one of the things that happens is music typically has a, um, there's changes in music. The music that you hear in the eighties, in the nineties with like new Jack swing and, you know, all those, those particular, uh, sounds or uh, or styles of music are very definitive for a particular time period. And if you can think of any of your favorite artists when they started changing up their sound, particularly from an album that they're most well known for, it never lives up to the, the hype of that album, their top album, if you will.
Speaker 1 00:08:38 And it causes the individual or the fan to question whether the artist is relevant or not. And I'll, I'll give you, I'll give a couple examples here. There is a, uh, I'm gonna use a r and b example. I'll use two r and b examples, and then two hip hop examples here. 'cause they've really made some impact. One on my personal life, but two, sonically, I'm a hu, I'm a Usher. Raymond is one of my favorite artists of all time. Don't need to go into it, that'll be another podcast. But many people note him as the best noted album is Confessions That was, uh, released in 2004. And, um, that album for many people is a great album. In fact, it was the last album by a, uh, black male artist to get a diamond certification, which means they sold like 10 million records, and he was the first r and b artist to, um, sell a million records in one week.
Speaker 1 00:09:42 So he's, he's up there, right for artistry. Now, the next album he put out, <laugh> was called Here I Stand, um, had a great single number, one single in the, uh, you know, the billboard Hot 100. But the album really flopped though. And the thing is that he was in, at the time he was married and he was going through, you know, that whole life circumstance and change in his life. And the thing is, it was reflected in the music. So many people thought they were gonna get based on, um, the single, um, love in the club. They were going to get confessions part two, but actually they didn't get an album that they thought they were going to get at all. Then you have another subsequent album, which was called Raymond Versus Raymond, which was on par with what you would typically expect from Usher.
Speaker 1 00:10:37 Again, another platinum album, uh, that went really well. But the next album that he came out with called, um, looking for Myself, was an e d m, um, electronic Dance music slash r b album. And many people didn't like it at all. I mean, like, people hated it <laugh>, and it wasn't for lack of, and again, it had a num, it had a number one r and b single called Climax on it. And it still, the album still didn't do well. I mean, it was a, I mean, again, if you listen to the album, the album was well designed, just a different kind of sound, maybe a little bit too ahead of what culture wanted at the time. If you listen to it now, it, it fits perfectly, but it was just, I think it might've been just too ahead of its time, you know, he's trying to reinvent.
Speaker 1 00:11:37 But most people and fans typically are always wanting what they enjoyed and what they loved about a particular artist. You can say the same thing for Justin Timber. Like he, I don't, I don't know how many albums he has out, maybe three. His last album was really bad, but, um, he took a different angle and he has different life experiences and people are like, this is not who I thought it was gonna be. He's lost it. My wife has a, a, um, um, a theory that when artists get married, they lose <laugh>, they lose the authenticity and the rawness of experience to communicate through their music the challenges that many of the fans actually identified with that made them hits. So at this point, you know, most people might have, and if probably haven't, but, you know, they didn't think that happened would do well and it didn't.
Speaker 1 00:12:35 But he's different. He's changed. Same thing with, uh, if we just do the top two hip hop artists that I feel are great, um, we say Kanye West, we know his sound has changed tremendously. And Jay-Z, um, he has a line in the, in Blueprint three, he say, if you like the old Jay-Z, buy my old albums. So <laugh>, you know, if you want what you heard before, you can stay where it was, whether it was in, you know, 96 or in 2004 or whatever the case is. There are times, and one of the things that's amazing about music is that music is timestamped. So because it's timestamped, most people like to stay in that era of time because they may have significant memories, they may enjoy what's going on, they may be reliving, um, experiences that they once had when a song was being played.
Speaker 1 00:13:28 And there's nothing wrong with that about having nostalgia because it happens to all of us that we love, particular music that we grew up with, and they bring up amazing memories for us. But the thing is, there are things, things are continuing to move on. Artists get older, they get married, they have kids, they have experiences, they have changes, they have circumstances, they have revelation, they have all kinds of things that as us as human beings, we typically give, but we never give that artist the particular ability to change. Therefore, we want them to be stuck with where we like them to be. And most of the times in this change curve, individuals will stay stuck because it is too hard.
Speaker 1 00:14:19 Imagine someone different. Most people don't change simply because they can't see themselves differently anymore. Most people can't see themselves as financially. Well also, they don't pursue financial wealth because they can't see themselves past it. They have pessimism and resistance toward a different outcome that they do not have control over or lack familiarity. So get going into the unknown as frozen two. And Elsa would say, you different. You, you literally have to find a way to barrel through the resistance of change to be able to allow yourself to experience something different, to allow yourself, to envision yourself differently, to see yourself differently. The Bible says people perish for lack of knowledge. And where there is no vision, people perish. So there's a couple things here, but the thing is like, if you don't see yourself differently and, and if you're not willing to see yourself differently, you will stay exactly the way you are.
Speaker 1 00:15:31 And there's a quote, uh, many people say this, especially when they, from back home, they say, man, you're still the same person. And this is the thing, y'all, we are not the same life typically has done its due diligence on each and every one of us. There's some challenges and circumstances that you, in all of your goodness and, and <laugh> and uh, wisdom have not prepared for. People don't get prepared to get laid off, or people don't get prepared to lose a spouse or get divorced or whatever the case is. So the thing is, you never know how you're going to respond to particular situations and circumstances, but the thing is, you just can't get stuck in stage two, or you're stuck in a perpetual loop of anger and fear in this change curve. Stage one and stage four is like going down the slope and the rollercoaster when you get started, you don't know what's going on.
Speaker 1 00:16:32 You're disoriented and you don't ha, the only thing that's keeping you in is, I don't know, <laugh> your will at this point. But just the thing though, it's easy to think that people resist change out of just sheer awkwardness, awkwardness and lack of vision. But we need to recognize honestly, that change might affect some people negatively in a very real way that particularly you may not have seen before. I, I will say this, and I, I will speak to this and I'll allude to this toward the end of, of the day's podcast, but, um, I have recently gone on a weight loss journey. And to this day, um, I have lost about 20, 23 pounds, 2324 pounds at this point. And, um, it has been a tremendous journey. But what I'll tell you is the first phase of my change in this, and again, I've been, I've talked about this numerous times.
Speaker 1 00:17:30 I've played football in college. I was, you know, I squatted 6 0 5, I bench pressed 4 0 5, I cleaned 3 25. Like I'm, I was a bowling ball. I was solid. And, uh, the challenge that I had with this is that losing weight to me was no longer, it no longer defined me as a football player, because most of the time when you're lifting weights, you want to get big because you wanna take on who you need to take on, right? So losing weight to me or losing muscle, whatever, you know, I was doing really meant that I'd be losing my identity as a football player. That identity for me was what actually drove me for 10 years of my life. It was like my armor. And to lose that to um, no longer identify as an individual who looks like a football player, but now looks like a natural human being who's in good shape, um, was challenging to me.
Speaker 1 00:18:39 In fact, I had to actually mourn that. And I know you made me thinking, Ryan, that's like super, super, like sensitive and stuff. It was <laugh> it is. Um, because the thing is, many of us don't understand how we've built coping mechanisms to keep ourselves from the dangers of what life has thrown our way. And the thing is, there's nothing wrong with them, but the thing is, what's wrong with them is if they stay past their season, I'm gonna say that again, the thing that's wrong with coping me mechanisms is that they, when they stay past their season, they can become damaging. And, um, I've been about maybe 10 years at this point, 13 years, ooh Lord, um, removed from playing football. And at some point, I gotta let that, that person, that individual, he needs to be laid to rest and move on. He needs to get healed.
Speaker 1 00:19:41 So once I got healed from that area, I lost about another six or seven pounds right after that because I then said, you know what, you, that version of Ryan, 23 year old Ryan, you served your purpose well. You built the character, you built the strength, you built the tenacity, you built the, you built the determination that got me to this point. I can't keep carrying you anymore. And I had to let that guy go. I literally had to see myself different. The next piece of that, and again, this is all the pieces here, but that what I just described to you is stage three, this is the acceptance part of it, that people stop focusing on what they've lost. They let go and start to accept the change. They begin testing and exploring what the change means, and learning about the reality of what's good about it, what's not so good about it, how they can adapt, how they can work the tool, what skill they need to get and build, and what knowledge they need to have about what this change means to them.
Speaker 1 00:20:44 And, um, for me, I'm just keeping with the weight loss analogy and, and real example, it's gonna allow me to find different clothes. It was gonna make me feel better about myself when I go into a building or when I go somewhere. It just made me feel lighter. I was tired of feeling heavy and I, you know, again, this is, it, it, it would, and you know, there are some challenges like, well, you know, you don't look like a football player, but actually I still, I still do, I still got the shoulders, my bone structure didn't adjust. I'm still pretty solid guys. I still look like I can handle some business. And, you know, I'm cool with that. I'm not throwing around linemen anymore, you know what I'm saying? I'm not hitting people or tackling individuals on a daily basis, right? So I don't necessarily need that kind of infrastructure for myself anymore.
Speaker 1 00:21:40 I need to do what I need to do to be able to be available for my family, for my kids as they grow without hurting myself. And, uh, that's what I want. That's what I want for my life. And again, it's different than being a performance and training for performance. So that information came along to me, and then once I got that insight, I made the commitment to embrace it, to say, this is the new version of me that I'm working towards. I still have a bit of ways to go for my ideal number, but I've made hell of a lot of progress simply because I'm willing, wanting and able to see myself different. And I accepted the fact that, man, as much as this was useful for me in the past, it's no longer useful for me now. And ladies and gentlemen, this is what we all go through when it comes to the change curve.
Speaker 1 00:22:35 Now, again, I'm, I'm saying all this stuff because typically we all have to manage change in some way, shape, or form. We have to give ourselves the grace to change. We have to give ourselves the opportunity to listen and to observe and take action. When that happens, we have to do the things that we need to do to actually help ourselves to get better. Again, there's teams, teams of individuals that specialize in helping organizations go through massive change. Why don't we have anyone to do that for us? We have coaches, life coaches and those kinds of things that can help us along the way. But many of us don't take the example or take the opportunity to either hire one or we might go to therapy to get that done too. But, you know, we need someone to help action, to give us some action, to give us some direction.
Speaker 1 00:23:35 Like a coach that can help push you through, not just analyze where you are, but give you the action steps to not let you stay where you're comfortable at because they see something different in you than you see in yourself. And once you get the vision of what they see in you, or you exceed what they see in you, then you'll be able to really maximize these change seasons. These change seasons are amazing. They're hurtful. They're, they, they, they're pruning seasons. 'cause essentially you lose something. So if you need to cry, cry, if you need to run or yell, then do what you have to do. But in order to move on, there has to be a season or time of mourning. And, you know, anger is usually and always is a secondary emotion next to hurt. So if we don't deal with that, we'll never move past and experience what the other side of change provides us.
Speaker 1 00:24:35 So, um, I'm excited to really, um, conclude this, um, the change curve. We'll just call this the change curve 'cause I think this is a good one. But, uh, there is, um, the next podcast, ladies and gentlemen, I'm so excited to share with you, and I'm gonna just give you a prerequisite to this, give you some insight to our podcast guest. Our podcast guest is none other than YouTube sensation. Dr. Mike Diamonds, owner and founder of Sculpt by Science. If you haven't checked his material out, um, we'll link it in the show notes here. But, um, I was fortunate to be able to be a part of his program. We were able to link up and have a conversation about this transformational opportunity that was presented to me, but also his amazing journey. I don't want to steal the thunder too long, but what I really want you all to do is just check out some of his material.
Speaker 1 00:25:39 It is literally amazing some of the things that he's gone through. He's actually a real doctor. He's gone through the progress, the process, the education, the residency. He has done the work and, um, he provides a very unique perspective to wealth and to health and fitness and wellness. And it's important, just like we talked about, living a lean life physically, that many of these changes, like we talked about, start from the inside out. And he gives this very unique perspective in this hour long interview. So please make sure you stick, uh, to the podcast, share it, subscribe. I'm, I'm hoping that you'll get, gain a lot of insight from him. And if not, go to YouTube right now. Check out some of his material. Um, you can lose weight without having to sacrifice and eat, uh, leaves, <laugh> and water and all that, all day long. You can indeed have a fulfilling life eating the things that you'd like, but you need to do it with the science. And Dr. Mike Daniels will do that. So keep it locked here on this podcast. I'm excited, delighted for you all to catch next week's podcast with Dr. Mike Diamonds. Until then, live a life refreshed. Talk to you soon. Peace.
