Episode Transcript
[00:00:02] Welcome to the Life Refresh podcast. My name is Ryan Robinson, and if you are looking for a podcast that is designed to uplift, encourage, and revive your heart, mind and spirit, you're in the right place. Welcome to the journey of becoming the version of you God designed from the foundations of the earth. Now, let's begin, everyone. Welcome back to life. Refresh Podcast. This is Ryan Robinson again. We are concluding this series of baggage we've been talking about the last few weeks actually. And we've been talking about the worry that we have in our lives, the anxiety. And the thing we talked about was talking about guilt and shame, what the difference is between the two. And I'll read the notes from last podcast, so you can give some context to what we're actually going to be talking about in this one. But guilt is a feeling when we violate our own moral code, it is associated with actions or deeds. And we feel guilt for what we've done and it causes us to repent or change direction. Shame is a deeper, more personal feeling of inadequacy or unworthiness. It's more about your identity. And we feel shame for who we think we are.
[00:01:33] For who we think we are. Okay?
[00:01:38] Shame is actually the thing that I feel causes people to take their own lives.
[00:01:47] It is something that I feel because individuals think that they've gone so far that they cannot redeem themselves or they cannot be made whole or made good anymore, that they make a choice that they would not have made because they don't think they have a future.
[00:02:05] And it's hard when you don't have any hope.
[00:02:12] Proverbs says hope deferred makes the heart sick, but joy is the tree of life.
[00:02:27] So if you don't have any hope, you don't have anything to anchor your life on.
[00:02:35] And people give up when there's no hope.
[00:02:42] And shame has a way of making you tell yourself that there's nothing good in you and there's nothing that you can do about it, that you're not loved, that something's wrong with you, that you're broken and can't be fixed, can't be put back together again.
[00:03:12] Shame has a way of just saying that you are not accepted.
[00:03:20] And I want to show or at least talk about the beginning of this. And I talked about it in the last podcast. I'm going to give you the address, aka the scripture verses for this to see and understand where shame originally came from. And like I said in a previous podcast, at least in the 50, some of them, the Bible has this thing called the law of first mention in hermeneutics that when you first see a circumstance or a word utilized, you need to go back to reference it in order to understand where it came from.
[00:04:03] And shame enters in the world when sin came into the world. And what is sin? It's sin. The word sin actually means missing the mark. It is a archery term.
[00:04:20] So think about a target in Robin Hood.
[00:04:26] I don't know if people know Robin Hood like that, but if you do, there's a bullseye, whether you can be even at a gun range or whatever, but there's a bullseye. And the bullseye is designed to make sure that you hit it as a target.
[00:04:47] And obviously the closer you are to the middle, the better.
[00:04:51] The goal is to actually hit the middle. Right? That's the bullseye. And the thing is, when sin entered the world, we started missing the mark.
[00:05:04] So say you're trying to do good things, but you get frustrated with your wife or your husband and you miss the mark. You say something you don't want to say, you see something that you want and then instead of working hard for it, you steal it. You missed the mark. You've basically positioned yourself in a way, because of our sinful nature of disobedience that started not with you, but with Adam and Eve originally. Adam and they missed the mark.
[00:05:46] They missed the mark. So every time we make a mistake or we sin, we miss the mark.
[00:05:54] Now the thing is, it's a deed, right? It's an action that missed the mark. So essentially, because of disobedience as a sinful nature, human race, we automatically are entered into this thing we call original sin, which means that everyone after Adam that was born had this sinful nature built into them.
[00:06:18] Okay? And what the Bible says is and I'm going to read, let me read a couple of things. This is Genesis, chapter three. I'm going to start at verses one through three. And then I'm going to go to verses six through ten, okay?
[00:06:49] And I'm going to read from the new living translation, okay? The serpent was the shrewdest of all the wild animals the Lord God had made. One day he asked the woman, did God really say you must not eat the fruit from any of the trees in the garden? Of course we may eat fruit from the trees in the garden. The woman replied. It's only the fruit from the tree in the middle of the garden that we're not allowed to eat. God said you must not eat it or even touch it. If you do, you will die. You won't die. The serpent replied to the woman. God knows that your eyes will be opened as soon as you eat it, and you will be like God, knowing both good and evil. Put a pause here.
[00:07:32] We determined in the previous parts of this Genesis, chapter one, chapter two, that Adam and Eve were made in God's image.
[00:07:44] Therefore, they were like God already, which means they did not know their identity in God. This is the key piece of shame, is identity or lack of it. Okay? So put a pin in that thought right there. Okay?
[00:08:04] Then the next point.
[00:08:07] Just keep on reading. The woman was convinced. She saw that the tree was beautiful and his fruit looked delicious and she wanted the wisdom it would give her. She took some of the fruit and ate it. And then she gave some to her husband who was with her, and he ate it too. At that moment, their eyes were open and suddenly they felt shame.
[00:08:31] Boom. Verse seven at their nakedness.
[00:08:36] So they sewed fig leaves together to cover themselves.
[00:08:42] When the cool evening breezes were blowing, the man and his wife heard the Lord God walking in the garden. So they hid from the Lord God among the trees. And the Lord called to the man, where are you? He replied, I heard you walking in the garden. So I hid. I was afraid because I was naked. And this is the key.
[00:09:06] Who told you you were naked? The Lord God asked, have you eaten from the tree whose fruit I commanded you not to eat?
[00:09:18] Then he blames the woman.
[00:09:22] Yeah, that's verse eleven or verse twelve, if you want to go to that part. Because Adam Early never took responsibility for doing it.
[00:09:35] So the key here was shame because it originated because Eve did not know who she was.
[00:09:50] Okay? So because she didn't know that she was made in the image and likeness of God, she thought she needed to be able to partake in something that would make her just like what she already adam, who knew better, did not tell her because the Bible said that he was with her. He was watching the whole time and he didn't see anything happen to her. But he was the one who was instructed. Therefore he had the responsibility to communicate, hey, we're not going to do this.
[00:10:24] That tree is not for us.
[00:10:28] Now, the piece of this that I think is important is that because shame is so sneaky, just like the serpent, it will challenge who you are. Okay? Now, the thing is, there is some information that was not apparent to Adam and Eve when they were in the garden. Because the Bible says the tree of the knowledge of good and evil was now opened to their eyes. So they saw what was good and they saw what was bad. But the thing is, God said that they were good. If we see in the book of Genesis, in chapter two in Genesis, god said that when he made Adam and Eve, he said they were really good.
[00:11:15] He looked at his creation and said it was good.
[00:11:19] So the thing is, it reversed, really, the fact that they didn't realize that they were already made good.
[00:11:26] Okay, now they made a mistake. Absolutely. They had disobedience. They were told to do something, they didn't do it. That sin perpetuated into the earth. And we're dealing with it to this day. Right? We're dealing with sinful nature to this day.
[00:11:42] But what ends up happening?
[00:11:45] No buts and because of that, we are struggling with our identity, in who we are, when we make a mistake, and especially if you've been making mistake over and over and over again, you just think that you're broken, and you just think that something's wrong with you because you can't fix yourself.
[00:12:15] And the thing is, if everyone could fix themselves, trust me and believe we would if you had a problem or if you had an addiction, if you couldn't stop drinking, or if you had challenges, if you had something that you wish you would stop, you would do it yourself.
[00:12:33] That's why we always need help.
[00:12:37] We need help.
[00:12:40] Yes, there are some people that can just stop cold turkey on certain things if they get really disciplined. But the thing is, studies have shown when you are making a change in the context of community, you have someone who you're accountable to. You have someone who's coaching you through. You have a support system that's bringing you through and cheering you on and helping you. You can get through it, but you are not able to do it without help.
[00:13:10] Okay, so how do you get out of a shameful cycle that continues to perpetuate every time you make a mistake?
[00:13:25] That guilt turns into shame and tells you that you can't do anything and you are bad, broken, and unfixable. Okay, so I got a few I got a few things here that I feel would be meaningful to us today.
[00:13:46] I want to get back to the origin of our being in our creation.
[00:13:55] Genesis, chapter one. And anytime we want to, giving some biblical solutions to overcoming shame here. Okay? Because I think it's important for us to know what the Bible says, because this book is a living book. It's breathing. And because God wrote it through a multitude of writers, through His Holy Spirit, I feel like we can really glean something from it because you probably heard it before in your life, but you may not have believed it.
[00:14:26] And I think this is a good opportunity for us to revisit what was said and maybe continue to repeat to yourself what is being said about you.
[00:14:38] So genesis, Chapter 127. I mentioned to this. I mentioned this already, but God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God, he created them.
[00:14:52] Male and female, he created them.
[00:14:56] First of all, you need to recognize your inherent worth in there's. Technically, two creation stories.
[00:15:14] One is a little bit more detailed, but they're about the same.
[00:15:19] They're similar perspectives, same outcome, different perspectives of things.
[00:15:26] When God created the heavens and the Earth, he spoke those things into existence.
[00:15:34] He said, I want the water to stop here, and I want this to be land. I want this to be ocean. I want this to be the heavens, and this is what I want the Earth to be. And this is where the creepy crawly things and the things of the earth and the birds of the air, these are where they're going to live. But when he decided to create man, the Bible says he put his hands in the dirt and made us okay.
[00:16:07] Now, whether you believe that or not, I believe that. That's one thing.
[00:16:16] But I want you to kind of think about how intricately, amazing we're kind of made, right? We have eyes. We have seven systems, I believe.
[00:16:34] Yeah.
[00:16:36] I haven't taken biology in a long time, so our hearts are beating on their own.
[00:16:43] We have digestive systems. We have the ability to have great conversation. We have the ability to change our mind. We have the ability to create.
[00:16:55] We're pretty cool if you just think of human beings as just with just no personality, just the physical piece of a human being from Jump, we are pretty amazing.
[00:17:12] We're amazingly made.
[00:17:15] God's creation is amazing.
[00:17:19] Trees, grass, animals, sky, rain, sun, moon.
[00:17:27] God's creation is incredible.
[00:17:31] And I spoke about this before in the Worry podcast, but it says in Matthew, chapter six, he says, if a lily that's here today and burned up in the fire, that's more beautiful than Solomon, how much more does he care about you that you have the right clothes? Why? Because you bear his image.
[00:18:01] Whether you believe about Jesus or not, you're an image bearer of his.
[00:18:06] So when we see each other instead of hating one another, instead of despising the color of our skins instead of challenging us from your origin your family of origin your socioeconomic status your education and where you got your degree from and all those things that we put to level each other up or stand over one another at the end of the day, y'all, we are God's image bearers.
[00:18:45] There's things y'all, we came into this earth naked, we're going to leave it naked.
[00:18:53] All the stuff that you bought, somebody else is going to get. The house you bought or the house you're in. Now, eventually, someone else is going to live in it. You won't.
[00:19:06] Whether you decide to make your bed in heaven or somewhere else, whether smoking non smoking, you are what's important because you're his creation. And I believe if everyone saw one another as an image bearer of God, we treat each other differently, we talk to each other different. We can have disagreements, but we can do it without being disagreeable. We can still love somebody without having to cower and be authentic with our relationships. We can be more of that if we could.
[00:19:58] So that's one thing. The other part is accepting God's love and grace. So the thing is, we recognize that he said we are beautifully made, we are wonderfully made. But the thing is, there's a difference from being made and being loved.
[00:20:20] Apple makes stuff.
[00:20:24] The customers love their things, their products, right?
[00:20:30] So when you love something or you enjoy it or you care for, you're going to take care of it. You're going to do like, you take care of your home, you take care of your car, you take care of your kids, you're going to go the extra mile.
[00:20:44] And the thing is, especially when God loves you, he tries to show that he loves us. And I'm going to show in scripture where this is, and this is one of the scriptures that wrecked me when I first started my journey. In my belief, my Christian journey, it wrecked me.
[00:21:08] Says romans, chapter five, verse eight says, but God demonstrates his own love towards us, that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.
[00:21:21] Okay?
[00:21:25] There's times when you don't know you're being loved.
[00:21:33] This particular scripture really speaks to the fact that Jesus died before you even knew you needed a Savior for the possibility that you might come back to Him, okay?
[00:21:47] It's nuts to me.
[00:21:49] I remember I was in church and I was boohooing after I got this revelation.
[00:21:56] God loves us so much that his son died for us that you might come back. Not that you will come back, that you might come back. And when you do and if you do, here's a way back to me.
[00:22:17] If you love someone or you love something, you will make provision for it before you need it, before they need it. It's like the ultimate hospitality. When you know you've been served well, you feel like you have been prepared for and cared about before you even arrived at the location. If they knew your name, that's great, Mr. Robinson. Glad to see you. This is that's great. But there's another level to it that if they made sure there were provisions, there were things, they knew what you liked, they knew how you they knew your snacks, they knew all that kind of stuff. They knew the details, just if you might want them.
[00:23:03] Now, my snack of choice is popcorn, generally, but it's not just the regular popcorn or with the Smart Pop, Skinny Pop. It's not that I like was it Garrett's popcorn?
[00:23:21] The cheese, the caramel, the sugar.
[00:23:26] So if someone knew that about me and they said, you know what they might want? That the love prepares for something just in case they might.
[00:23:42] That is the kind of love that God wants us to accept.
[00:23:49] That God loved us so much john 316 that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him shall not perish, but have everlasting life. And here in Romans five, verses eight says, but God demonstrated his love toward us that while we were yet sinners, while we were in the middle of our sin, christ died for us so that we might have a way back to Him. We might.
[00:24:18] Christ died on a maybe and a might for you and for me.
[00:24:23] And the thing is, there is no other love than that.
[00:24:33] I feel that that God loved us so much.
[00:24:40] Right?
[00:24:41] I talked about this of confessing and repenting.
[00:24:50] John one nine. Sorry? John first. John, chapter one, verse nine, says, if we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us of our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.
[00:25:06] This is the other part, and we'll conclude after this. I got two more points. I'll have to put them in the show notes or something.
[00:25:19] This is the key here.
[00:25:23] Adam, when he was asked, did you eat? He didn't answer the question.
[00:25:31] He said, it was a woman you gave me that made me do it.
[00:25:35] The thing is, we've got to be 100% real with ourselves and tell on ourselves.
[00:25:44] Now, this is the thing, y'all, no one wants to be a tattletale, especially no one wants to be a Tattletail on themselves, right?
[00:25:54] But that's the only way we can get free.
[00:25:59] I think that most people, especially when it comes to shame, don't want to admit what the real feeling is. So we're not monasticized. We cover it up. So you drink it, you smoke it, you sex it, you do whatever you want to do to try and cover up the real reason why you're doing what you're doing.
[00:26:24] And sometimes you need the truth.
[00:26:27] You need to tell yourself the truth.
[00:26:34] You if you like drinking it's because either you love it or you like feeling numb because you feel like you can be yourself and not have to feel anything.
[00:26:52] That's not mine, but I'm using that as an example.
[00:26:58] People use things, you buy things. I'm going to use that one.
[00:27:03] You buy things to get acceptance from someone. If you personally I bought that because I wanted to be accepted. Boom.
[00:27:11] That's the truth.
[00:27:13] That's the truth.
[00:27:15] And until you get real with yourself about the matter, you can't get delivered from it, but you have to do it. Here it is from a place of love first.
[00:27:26] Your identity is anchored first before you start addressing the issue. Because if we start addressing the issue without recognizing that we have an anchor that we're loved and that we are fearfully and wonderfully made, we will start saying that we're just a problem without understanding that we are actually made good.
[00:27:50] The order of operations gets twisted in shame, and I hope that this is meaningful, helpful.
[00:28:01] Shame is something that keeps us from our best selves.
[00:28:06] It keeps us from actually depositing into the earth what God designed for us to deposit.
[00:28:13] The thing that you have in you, whether it's art, whether it's word, whether it's a building, whatever it is.
[00:28:21] Sometimes shame actually keeps us paralyzed from actually doing what we've been created to do because we don't think we're good enough.
[00:28:32] So I want to encourage you, if you're listening to this, that God loves you.
[00:28:42] He wants you to be a part of his family.
[00:28:45] You are fearfully and wonderfully made.
[00:28:50] You're his kid. He wants you to be his kid.
[00:28:56] In the Book of Matthew, I believe it's. Chapter three. When Jesus was getting baptized, before Jesus did a miracle, before he fed thousands, healed thousands, the Bible says the spirit fell from heaven like a dove on Jesus. The heavens opened up and God said, this is my son, in whom I'm well pleased.
[00:29:26] He didn't do anything except be.
[00:29:31] So if you're struggling with being loved today, can you just be and just know that God loves you, whether you do anything or not?
[00:29:47] Just like a parent with their first kid, a good parent.
[00:29:54] They just love you because you are who you are.
[00:30:01] Thank you for your time for this podcast. Y'all share this one with somebody.
[00:30:07] I really feel in my heart and in my spirit that this could really help someone that you love and that you care about.
[00:30:17] Feel the love of Jesus Christ in a way that they never and may never feel it.
[00:30:25] I just think it's so important. I've struggled with this thing myself.
[00:30:30] Shame has kept me and disqualified me, or I've allowed it to disqualify me for a very long time until I read this book and had to remind myself what the word of God said about me. Because sometimes I don't believe me and sometimes you don't believe you.
[00:30:55] But you need someone to remind you who you are without any accruments, without you, with fig leaves, just naked and unashamed.
[00:31:22] That's the way God wants all of us, so that we can be honest, transparent and open to one another.
[00:31:34] All right, I'm going to keep talking, but anyway, keep it locked here. We'll see you next, Bahad. Peace.
