Show Notes
There are a few things that matter in this world. One of those things that matter are relationships. Understanding relationships is key to creating and developing a refreshed life. Take a listen!
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Episode Transcript
Speaker 1 00:00:13 Welcome to the life refresh podcast. My name is Ryan Robinson. And if you are looking for a podcast that is designed to uplift, encourage, and revive your heart, mind, and spirit you're in the right place. Welcome to the journey of becoming the version of you. God designed from the foundations. Now's begin.
Speaker 1 00:00:50 Hello everyone. This is Ryan Robinson back again with the life refresh podcast. So excited to have you back here yet again. Um, again, if you have it, make sure you share this podcast with someone you care about. Um, if you are indeed wanting someone to have their life refreshed, I highly suggest that you, uh, share this podcast with someone as well. Um, there is, uh, today's podcast. This might be maybe a, a part one or part two to this one. Um, but over the last, uh, I would say maybe few, I wanna say about a month or so. Um, there has been a common theme that I have been learning about, and it is actually really the key to having a life refreshed. Um, it is the thing that many of us, um, ignore because sometimes they're uncomfortable. We don't pursue them because they require vulnerability.
Speaker 1 00:01:51 Uh, it also demands a time and investment from someone and getting outside of one's comfort zone to meet another person where they're at. I kind of gave it away just now, but what it is is the meaning of relationships, relationships, the meaning of relationships. Many of us typically, uh, write these off, uh, simply because one, we don't have time for people. <laugh>, uh, we don't be bothered with people. One of, you know, both of those, um, two, it, it we've been hurt by someone. So we have been guarded and have kept our engagement with others to a minimum and three. We don't know how to properly manage them. Okay. Um, those three things typically keep us from diving in to relationships. And essentially, if you don't have strong relationships, there's really minimum, minimal ways that your life can be refreshed. I mean, based on, you know, your friend circle, based upon the people who have input into your life, the relationships around you in influence your visibility and influence the words that are spoken into your life. Okay. Um, the apostle Paul said in first Corinthians, uh, chapter 13, verse 33, do not be misled here. It is bad company corrupts. Good character.
Speaker 1 00:03:40 I'm gonna say that one more time for the people in the back first Corinthians 1533, do not be misled, bad company, corrupts, good character. We also notice. And if you haven't, if you ever get a chance to read the book of Psalms chapter one, chapter one, where it talks about being in the right place at the right time, literally it, if you're not in the right place at the right time with the right people, uh, it makes it difficult. I'm I'm going to read the king James version of this. So you have context blessed is the man that Walth not in the council of ungodly, nor standeth in the way of sinners, nor Sith in the seat of the scornful. That's the first intro track two Psalms chapter one. And the Bible says blessed in the, is the man who does not walk with the ungodly council or stands in the way of sinners or sits at seats of scornful people. Because based on first Corinthians, it does have an impact on the people that we are become. It becomes a reflection of those. So you might be the best person. You might have the greatest character in the world, but if you're around the wrong people, you will start to sound like the people you hang around. So, first of all, before we even get to a foundation of what relationships even look like, the question I'm asking you, dear listener is, do you have the right people around you
Speaker 1 00:05:39 And are the people around you? The people you want to be, be like, be with become, if not, I'm hoping that this podcast will get you started in, in some way, shape or form in reevaluating and looking at relationships from a different angle, um, and, and, and really stewarding relationships. Well, um, so couple things here before we even get to some of the foundational teaching. Um, I want us, I want us to understand that God blesses us through people. I don't think there's anything anywhere in the Bible that says being alone is the best thing to do. In fact, in the book of Genesis, I believe it was chapter two. Um, God says to Adam, and he sees that Adam is by himself. He says, it is not good for man to be alone. God said, it's not good to be alone. So why do we think it's okay for us to be alone to say, we don't need anybody. We don't need anything. We're completely independent more. So we're more like interdependent, uh, points of, of life where we can be independent, but there's parts of our lives where we need to be dependent on someone. So we have to have this level of reciprocity with someone, or, and, and if that, if we don't have that, then we are all alone. We're isolated. We are essentially,
Speaker 1 00:07:34 And possibly could be dying because we do not have relationship companionship, someone or something, a cat dog, something that we interact with it is so important. Relationships are to God because God is a relational. God, obviously he, he wants to have relationship with us. He desires to meet with us, connect with us, commune with us
Speaker 1 00:08:10 So much so that it is the vehicle by which he gives blessing. And I'm, I'm gonna pull this in here, cuz we've many of us, if you haven't been in church have probably heard the scripture, but if you haven't heard it in your ears listened to this. This is typically used around, uh, giving time when those are giving tides and offerings in, in, in church. But the scripture hears Luke six, uh, verse 38 says give and it shall be given back to you. Good measure, press down, shaking together, running over. Will it be poured into your lap for the measure that you use? It will be measured unto you. Another translation says give, and it should be given back to you, press down, checking together, running over. Would men give into your BOM? Would men give into your BOM? That's king James. That's the foundational scripture for what? The same measure that you may give. It shall be measured to you again. So meaning that God uses people to bless you. I believe it or not. God will use people to bless you. Not that you're using people for blessing, but your relationship be your relationships, bear fruit. Therefore the fruit that is given
Speaker 1 00:09:47 Will bless you. It's not monetary is give. So give what? Give time, give relationship, give connection, give love, give care, give time, give effort. It is a principle and a law of reciprocity that God has designed here on earth for us. And honestly it, whether you are a believer in Jesus Christ or not, there are certain laws that no matter how who you believe in or what you believe are relevant, the law of gravity, what goes up must come down. I don't care if you believe Jesus, I don't care what you believe in, but if you jump off a roof today, you're gonna come down. That's one of many laws that do not have a bias toward the person, but yet the principle still applies. Okay. Another one here, um, in, in Proverbs 13 verse 20 walk with the wise and become wise for a companion of fools suffers harm. So even king Solomon suggests that we ultimately become like those we walk with and to tie it all together, you might have heard this quote said, association breeds assimilation. Mm-hmm <affirmative> mm-hmm <affirmative>. So if I can just, I, without even meeting you, if I met the people that you spend the most time within, around, I would guarantee I would get a glimpse, if not 80% of who you are as an individual, because why the people around you depict who you are
Speaker 1 00:11:54 And because of those relationships, those relationships have bigger influence on us, not just directly, but in indirectly invisible influence. If you will, that you begin to assimilate and think like those you spin the most time with, that's why it's so important
Speaker 1 00:12:17 To have right relationships in your life. Um, I'm going to kind of lay a foundation here for relationships and I'm looking at our time. I don't know if I'll be able to even get to some of this content already, but I'm pulling a lot of this content, at least the foundational content, um, from a book called relational intelligence by Dr. Darius Daniels. Um, he's a preacher, uh, pastor of change church. This book is actually really extremely well written, uh, and foundational, uh, to really how I've even personally learned how to reevaluate relationships and how to invest in them, uh, in the right ways. But also recognizing that every relationship isn't created equal, there's some relationships that just won't get past having lunch with somebody on, on Tuesdays and Thursdays. And sometimes, you know, for some people that's okay, there's some relationships that you connect families and you connect with other people. And essentially those relationships foster bigger opportunities for connection. But honestly it is what it is. If you connect you connect. But when you do make sure that you find the right relationships and place those relationships in the right buckets so that you don't demand something from the relationship that the relationship will not give.
Speaker 1 00:13:58 Okay, I'm gonna say that again. We need to manage these expectations so that we don't demand something out of the relationship that the relationship can't give.
Speaker 1 00:14:12 So again yet, yet again, you have to reevaluate and look at what this looks like. So, uh, the book, uh, kind of sits the foundation around a couple things, but, um, essentially around a level of coefficients that we speak about, um, often and developing, being this thing called relational, uh, intelligence, or, or in some respects, um, relational coefficient or RQ for short RQ for short, um, there's several coefficients, uh, or quotient, excuse me, that, um, we speak on when it comes to the, the individual. So one of the first things that we know is IQ, which measures, uh, individual's intelligence. Okay. Um, the next one we've we've I would say maybe in the last 10 to 15 years, I've heard a lot about, is EQ emotional intelligence, where you're able to, uh, ly move in the circumstances of, of individuals who, um, might have a challenge meeting or talking because they have some anxiety or, uh, learning how to deliver news with the sensitivity that is needed.
Speaker 1 00:15:38 Uh, for certain individuals that's emotional inte uh, EQ, excuse me, emotional intelligence. The other one is, uh, adaptability quotient, AQ, which measures someone's ability to adapt to external, external circumstances. Um, I would use this as, again, it's a fairly new one, uh, in, in, in work, honestly. Um, as probably again, this one's probably in the last five to six years, um, because what it usually measures is, um, higher level of success. There's a, an individual named Dr. Uh, Peter, excuse me, Dr. Paul, uh, Stultz, which writes about, um, adaptability, uh, ENT a AQ is a better index in achieving success than IQ education or even social skills, which is EQ. AQ is the most scientifically robust and widely used method in the world for measuring and strengthening human resilience. Okay. There's a bunch of, again, this is another important type because at the end of the day, you are able, depending on what's going on in your life, adjust and adapting to certain circumstances and changing those circumstances for the better.
Speaker 1 00:17:07 And what it does is it just allows, it helps someone know that even if you're going through crazy circumstances, you are able to ly navigate through the landmines of whatever those circumstances may be presenting to you. Okay? So those are really important <laugh> aspects to this. So you have IQ EQ and you have AQ. And what I am proposing to you is, uh, RQ relational intelligence, relational intelligence. Okay. Um, what's important to this is that, um, even though you have all of these, uh, abilities of intelligence, emotional, uh, intelligence and adaptability, there are a couple things that combining these will actually help create better relational connections with folks. So, um, individually intelligence and emotion, excuse me, and emotion, excuse me, intellectual ability and emotional ability by themselves are okay. But the combination of the two, as well as an amplifier of adaptability impact the way that we can connect relationally with others.
Speaker 1 00:18:59 Okay. So consider this IQ plus EQ equals Q okay. EQ, excuse me, IQ plus EQ equals RQ our relational intelligence. Now our ability to think intellectually combined with our ability to monitor our own feelings and other feelings and emotions, and determine how to use information properly informs how we build relationships. And we develop these people's skills with the combination of the two, uh, quos, to be able to connect with people and develop the skills necessary for us to have strong relationships. Okay. Now I want you all to know there is no perfect relationship. So get that out. Your head you've, we've watched so many rom coms and notebook like stories, uh, on film, but what ends up happening once people fall in love? There's the story after that? No one ever talks about is happily ever after. Boom, you see the credits, there's no Marvel ending or cut scene leading you to what happens after the fact. Okay. The part that no one really wants to talk about is the work that goes into creating an impactful relationship. Once the initial butterflies, endorphins, dopamine infatuation phase of it goes away. Okay. So let us walk through the process of what relationships are all about, because if we don't really deal with that, we will set ourselves up for a lonely life. Or what we will find is that we never dived in deep to the relationships that we already have, because we're trying to protect ourselves from being hurt. We're trying to keep ourselves from being, uh,
Speaker 1 00:21:24 Taking advantage of because if anything, relationship, pains and hurts are the deepest ones, as well as the ones that take the longest to heal. I don't care what injury you've gone through. And again, I'm sure many who are listening have gone through a series of serious, serious injuries and challenges, but there is nothing that hurts deeper that a broken relationship, because there's still pain there. There's still pain there. And sometimes it might be our fault because we let someone in that we shouldn't have let in. Um, that there's, we just weren't wise enough. At that time, we just had an, in an internal need that needed to be met and this person was available. So we reached out to them. We connected and we casted our pearls before swine. It happens, they all. And I think we've all have gone through this, but I believe many of us are settling for a life. That's not, God's best in the area of relationships. Um, and I really want to help you all live a life refreshed by evaluating the relationships you have, and also cultivating relationships, if not deeper ones. Um, God wants to send friends, associates, assignments,
Speaker 1 00:23:26 Mentors, mentees, to walk with you on your life's journey. So next podcast, what we will jump right into is how do I even define what a good relationship looks like, but also create within myself the availability in ourselves, the ability for greater relationships. Okay. So make sure that you tell somebody to subscribe to this because many of us, this area of relationships touches everybody at some point and place in their life. So keep it locked here and I'll see you on the next podcast.
Speaker 1 00:24:22 Thank you for tuning into the life refresh podcast. There are three things I'll need you to do before you go one, subscribe to this podcast, whether it be through apple podcast, Google podcast, Spotify, wherever you listen to podcast, make sure that you subscribe to get the latest episode in your feed. Two rank the podcast. If you like what you heard today, make sure you give it a great rating on those platforms. It'll help give us the exposure. We need to make our message much broader and reach a different audience. And three, make sure you share this episode. I guarantee if you found value in it, someone you're connected to will find value in it. Well, with that said, take care and tune.
